SUN SIGN FACTOIDS

by

SASHA FENTON

Astrology books tell us that Arians are pioneering, Virgos are analytical, and Aquarians are eccentric, but forget astrology books and look at real people. Here is a list of stray factoids that have never made it into astrology books.

Aries

·        Arians have quiet voices.

·        Some of them live in a dreadful mess, but most are surprisingly tidy-minded where it comes to filing, note taking and keeping paperwork organised.

·        Arians are excellent teachers who show great patience, especially to children.

·        Arian men have strange sexual needs. If you discover that your Aries man has visited a prostitute, be grateful that he has got his needs out of his system without bothering you with them. Don’t ask…

Taurus

·        Taureans are afraid to give up their comfort-zone, and they only do so long after it has turned into a discomfort zone.

·        Taureans do not enjoy work and will only make a big effort if they need money for their home. They turn up every day and plod through their working day as long as it is not stressful and they can make friends there.

·        Taureans are often lucky and can inherit large sums of money. Once they have enough, they spend time on their hobbies, socialising and talking.

·        Taureans are surprisingly good with computers.

Gemini

·        This is not an adaptable sign, so Geminis find it hard to change their ways or their approach to life.

·        Geminis get bored being at home, so they love to go out and have a change of routine and they often have a variety of part time jobs.

·        Most Geminis are animal lovers and many keep dogs.

·        Geminis talk to their children as if they were mentally defective babies, even when their children are middle-aged!

·        Gemini ladies are often attracted to Aries or Libra men. They try to tame these men, but it never works.

Cancer

·        Cancerians have great ideas but little follow-through, so they talk up a good game without making it happen.

·        If a Cancerian’s child or grandchild stays at home forever, the Cancerian won’t chase them out or order them to become independent.

·        Cancerians can smooth the ruffled feathers of others, sympathise and really listen.

·        This is the sign of the drama king or queen who likes to make scenes and to be the centre of its family’s attention.

·        Cancerians can be cutting, hard and cruel.

Leo

·        Leo children are slow to grow up and their parents often despair of them, but when they finally get moving, they do very well.

·        Leos loathe the limelight or creating a drama or a scene. Astrologers who say Leos love to be the centre of attention are just plain wrong. Leos are far too easily embarrassed for such behaviour.

·        If you ridicule a Leo or hurt him enough to make him hate you, he will never forgive you and he will take every possible step to bring your downfall – however long it takes.

·        Leos are surprisingly good with computers.

·        A Leo won’t put up with a partner, however nice, if he/she is a poor or lazy lover.

Virgo

·        Virgos are untidy but they hate having someone else clear up their stuff.

·        Virgos are happy to plod along with the same daily routine for years. They are stubborn and they dislike variety and change.

·        This sign prefers short city breaks to long beach holidays.

·        Virgos are stingy but if they do spend money it is on property or other things that will last.

·        This is the sign of the critic and proof-reader, which is why so many of them are in publishing.

Libra

·        Libras are either pleasant and co-operative or argumentative and awkward.

·        If the co-operative type doesn’t agree with you, he won’t argue, he will just disappear off home.

·        Librans like to cook, especially for others. All the ones I’ve known love to make pancakes!

·        Librans like an audience and to talk at you.

Scorpio

·        Scorpios are kind hearted, but the true centre of their world is themselves.

·        Scorpios spend years looking for someone who will idolise them and adore them unreservedly.

·        Scorpios hate to eat in front of others and they often wait until they are alone or hide away to eat.

·        They are fussy about food and they eat quantities of some very narrow band of foodstuffs. This is often bread rather than proper meals.

·        Scorpios fall out with neighbours and colleagues and then work or live for years in close proximity with people who they loathe or never talk to.

·        Many Scorpios avoid having children but keep pets, especially cats.

·        Scorpios hate spending money then spend like mad on something unnecessary.

·        Scorpios can make public scenes without becoming embarrassed. If you make a scene however, they get embarrassed and angry.

Sagittarius

·        Sagittarians are great company at a party or when working at a festival for a few days but they are hard to live with on a long-term basis.

·        This is the most eccentric sign of the zodiac.

·        Sagittarians don’t like horses or large animals. What they love are pets, especially dogs.

·        When a Sagittarian is upset or put out, he becomes nasty and can even be cruel to children.

·        Where it comes to sex, a Sagittarian will try anything.

·        They like a job that takes them from place to place and they could use a GPS in the car.

Capricorn

·        When a Capricorn falls in love, he is sincere. Unfortunately, this doesn’t usually happen during his lifetime.

·        Capricorns are tight-fisted and they love to live with Scorpios who are equally tight-fisted.

·        Capricorns are either silent or they love to talk. If they are the talkative type, they are like a broken CD that you can’t turn off.

·        Capricorns often work in jobs that have a strong selling component or in publishing. They love to move around and to travel on business.

Aquarius

·        Some Aquarians are stingy, selfish, unpleasant, offensive, obnoxious and hurtful to the point of utter stupidity. Others are absolutely lovely.

·        Aquarians get so worked up about the government, the state of the nation and other totally unimportant things that they forget to buy important things like loo-rolls or bread for the family.

·        Aquarians like to play sports. Although not drawn to team games, they can play as part of a team as long as their individual performance is an important component, as in golf, bowling, game fishing teams and tennis tournaments.

Pisces

·        Don’t ever ask a Piscean for directions, to draw a map or even make a list of sensible directions. They think their directions are perfect, but everyone who tries to follow them gets hopelessly lost. Ignore their instructions and buy a GPS or a map.

·        If you are going to an event, party or anything organised by a Piscean, you won’t be able to discover beforehand exactly what you are letting yourself in for. Don’t bother to ask what the event is, who will be there, or what to wear, for some reason, explaining things is beyond the Piscean. Just be ready for anything.

·        Pisceans can be wonderful cooks but they don’t actually get around to doing it very often. What they really are good at is opening bottles of white wine. If you want red or rose wine take your own bottle along. The Pisces is kind hearted, so he will help you finish the bottle rather than waste what you can’t drink.

Spring 2005